Sour Tears

I had a fever for the past two days.

Somehow I started hearing echo sound in my right ear.

It just like water clotting in my ear.

I decided to go for a check up with an ENT Specialist.

With cash in my hand, I went in after my class ended today.

I get to see the doctor right away since I’m the patient with cash.

Doctor examined, asking the basic information for I have no record.

My emotional feeling started to interfere.

I listened to the doctor’s explanation of my condition;

however, my mind wasn’t processing.

At least I understand that I’m going to be fine.

The doctor left; he came back with a bunch of sample medications in his hand.

“You must control your feeling”, I told myself.

My eyes were blurry with tears.

I cried.

Like a person with a hundred problems, my tears ran like a waterfall.

The doctor asked, “Why are you crying?”

I continue to cry, then I said “I’m just sad because I have no insurance.”

I despite myself for saying that, I should have not say it.

He asked me about my personal life, parents and schooling.

I have everything except money to afford an insurance.

“Let me know your condition by next Friday, remember to call in ok” the doctor said.

He pondered, then said “The examination is free. I won’t charge you.”

I refused, he insisted.

I said thank you.

I didn’t want to face the nurse crying, so I speed my way out.

Crying like a little kid, I drove home with tears running continuously.

Now I feel better.

Now I feel embarrass, and stupid for my overwhelming emotional immaturity.

I hated myself for it.

I hated owing people anything.

I decided to returned next Friday to pay back no matter what.

Sixty dollars I putted in an envelop.

I just can’t wait for next Friday to come.

My heart aches.

I feel like a swindler, a con man, a scoundrel.

 

 

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